Things I DON'T want to teach my son

I knew my whole life that I wanted to have kids one day. The answer to what I wanted to be when I grew up changed daily.(I still don’t know!) But I always knew I wanted to be a Mom.

From the moment I found out we were pregnant my head was spinning (as I imagine every first time mom experiences.) I was constantly thinking about what to do and not do, what I wanted to teach my kids, the kind of things I wanted him to experience. Lately, as I watch the news and read stories, I find my mind formulating a list of things NOT to teach my son. I decided to start writing my list down here so I wouldn’t forget. What’s on your list of things you don’t want to teach your kids?

Here’s the beginning of my list:

*Color- I don’t want my son to see people in color. I want race(gender, ethnicity, religion, etc.) to be a non-issue. I don’t just want to teach him not to be prejudiced. I just don’t want him to see it, period.

*Status- Along the same lines as color, I don’t want my son to judge people based on their “status.” I don’t want him to care what kind of clothes they wear, what neighborhood they live in, what toys they do or don’t have. I don’t want money to ever be an issue.

*Disrespect- My least favorite thing to hear people say is, “I hate cops.”(or marines, sailors, soldiers, etc.)This is a disrespect issue. I want my son to respect all authority and I better not ever hear those words come out of his mouth! I want him to know enough to know when adults are abusing their power but I want my son to have respect for everyone until they show that they don’t deserve it.

*Beauty- I want my son to grow up with his own idea of beautiful. I don’t him to be warped by society. I want to teach him that all people are beautiful in their own way. I’m already cautious about using the word ugly, fat, skinny, gross, etc around him. I don’t want him to learn those labels. I want him to be confident in his own appearance despite what society tells him he’s “supposed” to look like. I feel like this is a more important thing to teach little girls about loving themselves, but in order for little girls to feel that way, all of us “boy moms” need to teach our sons that everyone is beautiful. Differences are beautiful. Size, shape, color, texture, scars, marks.. it all makes people unique and want my son to appreciate that. I don’t want him to grow up and think that only the girls on magazine covers are beautiful.

*Dependence- This sounds odd coming from the mom of an 8 month old, I know. But I want my son to grow up to be independent. I want him to think for himself. I want him to make his own choices. I want him to leave the nest without hesitation(ask me about that again in 18 years!;) I want him to know that we will always be there for him, but I want to raise him in a way that when the time comes I can trust his decision making skills. I don’t want him to be one of those kids that is still living with us when he’s 29.

*Quitting- I don’t want my son to grow up thinking if something is hard, you just quit. I want him to learn to follow through with his commitments, that if you say you’re going to do something you do it.

*To be a sheep- I want my son to have a mind of his own. I don’t want to teach him to just go with what others tell him. This goes for us.(Again, I’ll probably regret thinking this down the road.) I want him to question things. I want him to make his own convictions. I want him to make his own choices. Of course I want him to be a christian, but I want him to be a christian because he found Jesus in his heart on his own, not because we told him he has to be.

*Judgement- this will probably be the hardest for me because I am admittedly over judgemental. But I don’t want that for my son, so I am trying to curb it now. I don’t want him to judge anything without getting to know the truth. Whether it be people, a store, a new food, a new experience. I want him to have such an open mind and open heart that he gives everything and everyone more than just one glance.

This is an on-going list. I plan to add to it for the rest of his life. What would you add? What DON’T you want to teach your kids?

Nolan Evan: 5-7 months!

Nolan Evan is already 7 months old. I can't think about it too long or it makes me sad. He is definitely not a tiny baby anymore! *Sadface*

Size: According to his doctor's visit in March he is 15lbs 13oz(gained exactly 2 pounds since 4 month check up) and is just over 28in long(grew 3 inches!!) He is still around the 25% for his weight but he jumped into the 90% for his length now. The nurse even double checked because she was surprised he grew so much in just 2 months. Little man is wearing mostly 6/9 month clothes now and is in size 3 diapers.

Milestones: He is a pro at sitting up. He likes to sit up by himself on the floor and play with his toys. He's working really hard to crawl but still not quite there yet. He pushes up to all fours and rocks back and forth and will attempt to reach out but then just flops down to his belly. He's figured out how to get from sitting up on the floor onto all fours or from all fours to sitting down, but no real effort to take off in a crawl yet. He has started to stand whenever he can and he pulls up on anything he can. He is just starting to wave, but hasn't really figured out the purpose so pretty much just waves to entertain himself. He is getting pretty good at high fives though!

Eating: He eats Everything! Literally everything and is a bottomless pit. I'm not quite sure where he puts it all, but the kid just eats and eats!We started with pureed fruits and veggies and small pieces of things in months 4-5 and it went really smoothly and he loved it but in this month his eating really took off. He prefers to eat bites so I don't puree much anymore. He's tried anything we eat(except the usual chocolate, nuts, shellfish, and honey.) and pretty much just eats "table food" all the time now. He hasn't found anything he doesn't like or won't eat yet. I also quit pumping this month. I had enough stored in the freezer to go two more weeks, but then at 6.5 months we've switched to all formula. He wasn't a fan at first but he's fine with it now.

His daily eating schedule goes like this: Morning- fruit with jam toast, eggs, oatmeal, or pancakes depending on what we make for him. About 30 minutes after he finishes at the table he drinks a 6oz bottle. Lunch- is usually left overs from his diner the night before or lunch meat an cheese with a side of veggie or half banana and 30 minutes later another 6oz bottle. After he wakes up from his afternoon nap he drinks a 4oz bottle and usually has a snack of unsweetened apple sauce or something else quick and light. At dinner he has whatever we're eating(usually eats his share and half of mine!) then drinks another 6oz bottle after his bath right before going to bed.

Sleeping: He has become a champ at night! Ever since his 4 month appointment something just clicked and he sleeps all night. He generally falls asleep drinking that last bottle(I know, I know.. bad.) Then I lay him down in his crib, cover him with his blanket, and he's out for the night. He still stirs a few times every night, usually only once or twice, but doesn't really wake up. I go in to check on him and most of the time if I put his blanket back on him he gets still and goes back into a sound sleep. He sleeps from between 7-8 at night until 6-7 in the morning most nights now. (Momma feels like a whole new person now that I've caught up on my sleep!)

Naps are still a different story. This week I've been sticking to my guns on the crying it out method and it's getting better but it's still sporadic. He usually goes down between 9 & 10 in the morning and then again between 1 & 2 in the afternoon. How long he sleeps is still a toss up. Usually one is a two hour nap and the other an hour, but its a toss up as to which is which.

And the overload of pictures:

Nolan Evan: 4 months old

I know I say this every month, but where is the time going?!? Our big boy is already 4 months and growing like a little weed!

 Size:According to his doctor's visit this month he is 13lbs 13oz and 25.75in long. That puts him at the 85% for height and 25% for weight. Big boy! He also had to get all of his 4 month shots this visit :( But he took them like a champ!

Milestones: I feel like he has changed so much from month 3 to 4. He is doing so much. He mastered rolling from back to tummy and now flips right over any time you lay him down. He's attempting to scoot, but still struggling with that one. He's really started "chatting." He loves to babble and blow raspberries and will just chatter with anyone that will chatter back with him. He has really good neck control and is trying so hard to sit up by himself. He loves to stand with help and will not let you hold him like a baby anymore. Too big for those little britches!

We celebrated Nolan's first Christmas and New Year. We definitely enjoyed all the family time! Christmas Eve we went to the 4:00 service at Woodbine UMC then to dinner at my parents, then home to bed so santa could come! Christmas day we spent at home. We enjoyed a couple hours celebrating with our little family after Nolan woke up. Then GiGi, Aunt Brittany, and Uncle Shawn came over for Christmas breakfast. Later in the afternoon Grammy, Poppy, Noni, Pops, Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Carl came over for supper. It was a nice day and this spoiled boy got wayyyy too many presents! He was cute and actually did help tear some of the wrapping paper off of his presents.(Of course then it went straight to his mouth!)

Eating: He's still only eating 4oz and still eating every 3 hours. We started rice cereal at about 3.5 months and by 4 months he had eating with his spoon down pat. He seemed to enjoy it so we've started adding single produce purees with his rice cereal twice a day. We started with carrots which he seemed to like well enough. Then we tried bananas, squash, and pears. So far he loves all of it, and is quite the eater! I usually do food at his second morning feeding and with his "dinner" feeding.

Just this morning he started this new thing where he says "ahhhh" as he opens his mouth for the spoon. The funny part is he started opening his mouth wide and saying "ahhh" to let me know he was ready for another bite as if I wasn't moving fast enough. I was cracking up. I don't know where he figured out how to do this because I've never told him to say "ahhh." We had to show Daddy at dinner and he managed to get a good video of it.

Sleeping: He usually takes a 2 hour nap in the morning an hour after first waking up. Then we try to go for 2 hours awake and one hour nap for the rest of the day, but this rarely goes perfectly. In the evening we read stories after dinner and then he still loves his bath between 6:30 and 7:30. I think that's his favorite time of the day! After bath it's jammie time and a bottle. He falls asleep by the end of his bottle and we move him to his crib for the night. He's usually down for the count between 7 and 9 sometime. How long he stays asleep is still a coin toss. For the last month nights have been rough. Usually 4-5 wake ups and he has been restless in his crib and ending up back in his bassinet.
His doctor said to let him sleep on his stomach if he wants now that he can roll all the way over so I'm hoping that will help!


Now the good part! The picture overload: