29 November, 2010

This is weather is matching mood..

After a long stressful day in the airport my plane landed at the Pensacola Regional Airport to an ugly rainy day. It matched my ugly mood.. I don't know why this particular time leaving Stephen was so much harder than usual? I woke up in tears yesterday morning over 12 hours before I knew we had to leave each other! I usually keep it together pretty well and can talk myself into being strong, but i'm having an extra hard time this go around. Every tiny thing makes me burst into tears. (And anyone that knows me knows i'm not a crier!)

We had an AMAZING weekend in Dallas for Thanksgiving. We got to spend the most consecutive time together that we have since June 29th! That's exciting and sad to think about at the same time.. you have NO idea how ready I am to have him back with me all the time! We got to do a lot of really fun things in Dallas and hang out with friends (new and old!) It was a blast. We went to the aquarium, ate an INCREDIBLE thanksgiving dinner, went out and partied it up with friends, watched our Noles beat the gators!! =), went ice skating, got massages because my amazing fiancee surprised me for our 3 year anniversary! Pretty much did all there was to do in Dallas(at least that we had time for!). I'll post some pictures next :)

I think it's hitting me the hardest because it's the holiday season. We LOVED the holiday season! Christmas music, going to the tree place and deciding on a tree, fighting to get it up, shopping for our families' presents together. It's my favorite time of the year, but this year it's a lot less fun. I'm not really excited to pull the decorations down or go pick out a tree. I'm struggling to find motivation to get Christmas shopping done.. I just want to hibernate until the 23rd so I can see him again!!

But then I think about my bad attitude and I feel guilt. Why? So many people don't get to spend the holidays with their loved ones. I will have mine for Christmas. A lot of girls I've talked to haven't seen their boyfriend/fiance/husband in 7,8,9 months and have no idea when they will see him next. This breaks my heart! I miss mine more than anything and i'm lucky enough to see him once a month. So as tough as it is and as sad as I am and as much as I just want to mope and cry until he's here..

I won't. I'm going to be strong and keep my head up. I'm going to enjoy spending a day getting a tree and decorating the apartment with my amazing mom. I'm going to get the Christmas shopping done and wrapped under the tree so Stephen has a beautiful apartment to come home to! I will be strong and I will count my blessings that I have him for the holidays!

On that same note, today makes our 3 year anniversary! I can NOT wait to be married to him in 6 months. We have come a LONG way, we were just kids when we started dating. Now he is my best friend and has my whole heart :) I've been getting into our wedding planning and i'm so excited. I can't wait for the next few months to finally have him with me to do normal couple stuff and have date nights again and then to say our "I do's"!! Here's to speeding up time.. Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is my airman home with me safe, sound, and quickly

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